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mastory96

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mastory96

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  • Number of visits : 9241
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mastory96's page activity

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mastory96's favorite FMLs

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns $10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58619) - you deserved it (3019)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got into an argument with a 7 year old. He said that Obama was the 44th President, I said he was the 42nd. Guess who was right. FML

#2791177
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9744) - you deserved it (78730)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by feeldumb - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML

#2785854
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54122) - you deserved it (4494)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:43pm - love - by Ryuga (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

#2767851
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21402) - you deserved it (56223)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

#2754553
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80458) - you deserved it (6062)

On 06/09/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by SURPRISE (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for 2 years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response: "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML

#2749071
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49296) - you deserved it (14981)

On 06/09/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by ohwell (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

#2741665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39326) - you deserved it (9421)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:09pm - animals - by chris (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107854) - you deserved it (4824)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML

#2734791
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13275) - you deserved it (50267)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66159) - you deserved it (6323)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14240) - you deserved it (83883)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

#2711154
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29112) - you deserved it (38592)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:54am - misc - by KBO (woman) - Australia

Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML

#2710099
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58067) - you deserved it (7679)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:05am - love - by aasatt22 - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walks up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then says: "Could you hold me my drink?" and goes to dance with another girl. FML

#2704619
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49124) - you deserved it (3445)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)



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