mastory96

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mastory96

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11562
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mastory96's page activity

Visits<b>TheLeviathan14_</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 1:48pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:29pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 2:17am<b>TOPsCinderella</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Pr0fess0rWhat</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:54pm<b>emilyhilliard</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:21am<b>chrissylee89</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:57am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:28am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:54am<b>eams</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 5:43am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:08pm<b>sohigh10</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:58am<b>kambrai0811</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 10:23pm<b>Audiobliss</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:50am<b>hazelmonster</b> - the 05/11/2010 at 6:11am<b>spanishflirt6509</b> - the 12/14/2009 at 9:52pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 11:27pm<b>meme3</b> - the 11/29/2009 at 4:43pm

mastory96's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mastory96's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

by Girl / 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

by Girl / 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML

by Laundrylady / 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML

by Laundrylady / 08/18/2009 at 4:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

by Ahhwtf / 08/18/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML

by probably_the_ex_now / 08/18/2009 at 4:04am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

by anugla / 08/18/2009 at 1:02am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

by hunnydoll / 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

by ZSL / 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

by vmml97 / 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

by malebonding / 08/17/2009 at 9:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous