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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mastapeace16

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mastapeace16
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1017
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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mastapeace16's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

#9030368 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (1642)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML

#7842488 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (19861) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/03/2010 at 8:48am - health - by Scaredshitless - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML

#7461664 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (5363) - you deserved it (21003)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by muffincakess - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

#7447854 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (7254) - you deserved it (11551)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (8433) - you deserved it (19103)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

#7309178 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (19685) - you deserved it (3455)

On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (5183) - you deserved it (39124)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (16853) - you deserved it (2516)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

#6953786 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (16281) - you deserved it (6899)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

#6825049 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (15521) - you deserved it (4085)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (12363) - you deserved it (19236)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my 4 month old son a bath. I felt something in the tub and thought it was a fragment of a bar of soap, but couldn't see because of the suds. I squeezed it and brought it to the surface, revealing my son's green poop. He was smiling at me. FML

#6651976 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (4220)

On 12/07/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by tubby - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

#6467365 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (14782) - you deserved it (4700)

On 11/26/2009 at 7:26pm - misc - by anniecook (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (6497) - you deserved it (34034)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

#6444346 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (10115) - you deserved it (21883)

On 11/25/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by TinyDancer22 (woman) - United States (Florida)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.