Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mas1794

Offline (the 07/17/2015 at 2:23am) | Search for a member

mas1794

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 521
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mas1794 : Hi I'm Madison, I enjoy spending my free time reading and cooking. I plan on working in the medical field. I love dogs.

mas1794's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:20pm<b>punisher316</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 9:47pm<b>larson15</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 3:25pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 12:26am<b>efelsh</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 4:09pm<b>c4rpi0</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 12:36am<b>treygalloway</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 4:31pm<b>Rob2342</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 12:05pm<b>luebbe</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 12:00am<b>Red_Lego</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 11:45pm<b>texashater75</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 12:09pm<b>bethers_</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 11:09am

mas1794's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of mas1794's badges

mas1794's favorite FMLs

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53839) - you deserved it (7883)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51786) - you deserved it (3689)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (6422)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44538) - you deserved it (3134)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54186) - you deserved it (8482)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

#20733830
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56420) - you deserved it (5333)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58653) - you deserved it (4192)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51081) - you deserved it (4722)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47894) - you deserved it (10533)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47805) - you deserved it (6364)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42301) - you deserved it (73508)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57630) - you deserved it (11131)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

#20639773
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47410) - you deserved it (4298)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

#20634740
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (8388)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

#20627067
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62511) - you deserved it (3333)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: