Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

marykateex3

Search for a member

marykateex3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 53928
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About marykateex3 : I am the coolest uncool person in the world.
(...now, now. Don't get jealous.)

marykateex3's page activity

Visits<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - 24 hours ago<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 2:19am<b>Tyde</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 1:38am<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:33pm<b>MrKronos</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:52am<b>CougeeSwagg</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:53am<b>julian0605</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:10am<b>Joseph_hello</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:07am<b>King_Nero</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 8:13pm<b>sarahjayeriin</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 3:48pm<b>waterski123</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 11:48pm<b>False_Morals</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:17am<b>Ardian4954</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 7:04am<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 11:59pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 3:03am<b>Amanyyyyyy</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 4:08pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 7:18pm<b>Dodopy</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 10:55pm

marykateex3's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marykateex3's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML

#703894
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (188012) - you deserved it (31140)

On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

#701827
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63956) - you deserved it (4205)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by androgynous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a mother wrote me a $130 check for babysitting her four kids for a few hours. Trying to be gracious, I said, "Wow, thank you, this is very generous!" She thought for a minute, then said, "You're right." She took the check back, ripped it up, and wrote me a new one for $55. FML

#699603
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74326) - you deserved it (28214)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

#699285
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84982) - you deserved it (4338)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:16am - work - by matte (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

#697530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18014) - you deserved it (85052)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

#697390
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63993) - you deserved it (4012)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to go to my son's school for career day, I explained what a banker does and then I asked if anyone had a question, one boy raised his hand and asked "When are all the cool parents gonna come?" FML

#695731
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52702) - you deserved it (5744)

On 03/30/2009 at 12:39am - work - by Blah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

#694537
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86314) - you deserved it (34417)

On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

#690128
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (72459)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Bucko321 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

#688806
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58262) - you deserved it (3548)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

#683803
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63826) - you deserved it (23691)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

#681492
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (80378)

On 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14462) - you deserved it (180137)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102043) - you deserved it (22297)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: