marykateex3

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marykateex3

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 57337
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About marykateex3 : I am the coolest uncool person in the world.
(...now, now. Don't get jealous.)

marykateex3's page activity

Visits<b>mas12806</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 3:35pm<b>BandsRuleBro</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:03am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:17am<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 12:12pm<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:07am<b>I_suck_at_cod_aw</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:47am<b>sarika</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 10:23am<b>fairy0spirit</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 11:53pm<b>roflstomp716</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:46pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 9:07am<b>dakota133</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 4:49pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 3:48pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:04am<b>ultimate41</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:01pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:51pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:47pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:55pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:04am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:59am

marykateex3's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marykateex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

by androgynous / 03/30/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, a mother wrote me a $130 check for babysitting her four kids for a few hours. Trying to be gracious, I said, "Wow, thank you, this is very generous!" She thought for a minute, then said, "You're right." She took the check back, ripped it up, and wrote me a new one for $55. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2009 at 9:34am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

by matte / 03/30/2009 at 8:16am / Australia (South Australia) / Work

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

by superstar / 03/30/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2009 at 2:10am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I had to go to my son's school for career day, I explained what a banker does and then I asked if anyone had a question, one boy raised his hand and asked "When are all the cool parents gonna come?" FML

by Blah / 03/30/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

by Cynical / 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

by Bucko321 / 03/29/2009 at 9:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

by Hotsauce887 / 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

by emkaycutie / 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

by engaged / 03/29/2009 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and explaining to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 9:33pm / United States / Animals