marykateex3

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marykateex3

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 56227
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About marykateex3 : I am the coolest uncool person in the world.
(...now, now. Don't get jealous.)

marykateex3's page activity

Visits<b>imcameronblack</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:21am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:17am<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 12:12pm<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:07am<b>I_suck_at_cod_aw</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:47am<b>sarika</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 10:23am<b>fairy0spirit</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 11:53pm<b>roflstomp716</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:46pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 9:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:04pm<b>dakota133</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 4:49pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 3:48pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:04am<b>ultimate41</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:01pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:51pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:47pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:55pm<b>54MU31</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:58pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:04am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:59am

marykateex3's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marykateex3's favorite FMLs

Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 1:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 10:14am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my husband of three years told me he only proposed to me because his favorite football team was winning and he had been drunk. I had our second child three days ago. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 9:44am / United States / Love

Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just when things started getting heated, a pipe burst. Literally. There was water everywhere and everyone had to evacuate the building. I was cockblocked by poor plumbing. FML

by RotoRooter / 04/17/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML

by babysitter / 04/17/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

by Eyesore / 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

by shiftybizniss / 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

by Obee / 04/14/2009 at 10:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

by anonymiss / 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead says "Just kidding, its really cheap." and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML

by JimmyJazzNJ / 04/11/2009 at 10:51pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 9:42pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous