marykateex3

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marykateex3

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 56258
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About marykateex3 : I am the coolest uncool person in the world.
(...now, now. Don't get jealous.)

marykateex3's page activity

Visits<b>imcameronblack</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:21am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:17am<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 12:12pm<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:07am<b>I_suck_at_cod_aw</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:47am<b>sarika</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 10:23am<b>fairy0spirit</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 11:53pm<b>roflstomp716</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:46pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 9:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:04pm<b>dakota133</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 4:49pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 3:48pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:04am<b>ultimate41</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:01pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:51pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:47pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:55pm<b>54MU31</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:58pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:04am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:59am

marykateex3's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marykateex3's favorite FMLs

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

by DBR / 04/23/2009 at 6:45am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

by happybirthday / 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

by 11321 / 04/22/2009 at 1:24am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

by hairball / 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

by hairball / 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

by hairball / 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

by lylethomes15 / 04/21/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Maine) / Animals

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principal came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

by seriously / 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

by robinhoood / 04/20/2009 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML

by guessimdead / 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 11:34pm / New Zealand / Work

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

by gringa_Peru / 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm / Peru (Lima) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

by wellesleybanana / 04/17/2009 at 2:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous