marykateex3

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marykateex3

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 57348
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About marykateex3 : I am the coolest uncool person in the world.
(...now, now. Don't get jealous.)

marykateex3's page activity

Visits<b>mas12806</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 3:35pm<b>BandsRuleBro</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:03am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:17am<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 12:12pm<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:07am<b>I_suck_at_cod_aw</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:47am<b>sarika</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 10:23am<b>fairy0spirit</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 11:53pm<b>roflstomp716</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:46pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 9:07am<b>dakota133</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 4:49pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 3:48pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:04am<b>ultimate41</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:01pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 12:51pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:47pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:55pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:04am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:59am

marykateex3's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marykateex3's favorite FMLs

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

by Telemistake / 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML

by dasbooot / 04/30/2009 at 12:53am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house.I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

by ohmyx3 / 04/29/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I turned 35. I was given my first-ever orgasm by the best lover I've ever had: a massaging shower head from Wal-Mart. That I bought for myself. It was the only gift I received. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

by hyper12332 / 04/29/2009 at 10:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML

by Mars / 04/29/2009 at 5:40am / United States (California) / Health

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

by Jake / 04/29/2009 at 4:06am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

by PoopTart / 04/29/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

by Sad / 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

by unlolable4321 / 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

by david / 04/28/2009 at 10:08am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

by seriouslywtf / 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy