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About maryjoe : just message me
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Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29528) - you deserved it (2097)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15310) - you deserved it (1381)
On 09/26/2011 at 1:18am - work - by SakuraBreeze (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I spilled hot coffee all over this man at work. I tried apologizing and saying it was an accident, but he then complained, which resulted in me being unemployed. The man I spilled coffee on was my uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9916) - you deserved it (809)
On 09/25/2011 at 9:57pm - work - by Chan - United States (Virginia)
Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8691) - you deserved it (800)
On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21119) - you deserved it (6209)
On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)
Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9249) - you deserved it (36020)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6924) - you deserved it (23263)
On 08/29/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)
Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19324) - you deserved it (6766)
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20511) - you deserved it (5536)
On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8922) - you deserved it (27914)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (5935)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10199) - you deserved it (25386)
On 08/28/2011 at 7:29am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21871) - you deserved it (1960)
On 08/28/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by CooBerry3851 - United States (Washington)
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21927) - you deserved it (1696)
On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (1636)
On 08/27/2011 at 6:40pm - misc - by concertqueen - United States (California)
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