maryjoe

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maryjoe

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 December 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4702
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About maryjoe : just message me

maryjoe's page activity

Visits<b>kylefitz20</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 8:35am<b>redBuddhist</b> - the 04/12/2012 at 7:54am<b>AxJxA</b> - the 12/28/2011 at 9:13pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 10/31/2011 at 4:21pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 10/23/2011 at 7:04pm<b>azkollias08</b> - the 10/15/2011 at 1:07pm<b>KirstyDragon</b> - the 10/05/2011 at 4:53am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 2:17pm<b>justme0003</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 10:27am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 5:30am<b>Killerturtle</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 12:16pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 3:05pm<b>fighterboy11</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 8:15am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:03pm<b>TheMasticater</b> - the 08/26/2011 at 8:35am<b>noddy_92</b> - the 08/23/2011 at 5:17am<b>ariannaa</b> - the 08/21/2011 at 11:30am<b>officeradvil</b> - the 08/21/2011 at 5:37am

maryjoe's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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maryjoe's favorite FMLs

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

by SakuraBreeze / 09/26/2011 at 1:18am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I spilled hot coffee all over this man at work. I tried apologizing and saying it was an accident, but he then complained, which resulted in me being unemployed. The man I spilled coffee on was my uncle. FML

by Chan / 09/25/2011 at 9:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

by Hailey Antone / 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

by Stan / 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

by slut / 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2011 at 9:05am / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML

by True Story / 08/29/2011 at 8:46am / Canada / Love

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

by Andrew / 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Work

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

by cjay2200 / 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Kids

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 7:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

by CooBerry3851 / 08/28/2011 at 4:27am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML

by concertqueen / 08/27/2011 at 6:40pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous