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maryiah

Offline (the 01/11/2015 at 6:51am) | Search for a member

maryiah

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 March 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3851
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About maryiah : Why, hello there! Chances are if you message me, I won't reply. But, you can always try.

maryiah's page activity

Visits<b>Bynsica</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:24am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:17am<b>Rawr6591</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:13am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 8:18am<b>bmon</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:00pm<b>bigm1097</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:48pm<b>epicmaterial777</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 3:32pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:30pm<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 9:34am<b>Bradddddders</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:05am<b>DataRomance</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 12:12am<b>killuminatirebel</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 12:03am<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 7:43pm<b>CallMeWindSock</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 5:12pm<b>ruwi</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 4:50pm<b>jamsie</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Dr0n3</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 2:57pm<b>Javina05</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 2:52pm

maryiah's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of maryiah's badges

maryiah's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38453) - you deserved it (3036)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34285) - you deserved it (6134)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40368) - you deserved it (3199)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38013) - you deserved it (10030)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48969) - you deserved it (4328)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38461) - you deserved it (3773)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44453) - you deserved it (4591)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42629) - you deserved it (4406)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39969) - you deserved it (13698)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

#21142181
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35876) - you deserved it (15333)

On 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Female Struggles (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63864) - you deserved it (8108)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51966) - you deserved it (6524)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59668) - you deserved it (4360)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)



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