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maryellenbaby

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maryellenbaby
  • Town/Country : Michigan, United Staes
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 March 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2010
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About maryellenbaby : Hey I'm Maryellen and i'm fifteen. (:

maryellenbaby's last visitors

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maryellenbaby's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

maryellenbaby's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (1150) - you deserved it (2532)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I felt inspired to create a photo album of myself through the years. As I was organizing the photos of my childhood, I noticed how many my mom was holding me and hugging me in. When she came home from work I jokingly asked, "When did you start hating me?" She replied, "When you were 4". FML

#4460221 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (33107) - you deserved it (4026)

On 08/11/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (53041) - you deserved it (3802)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (51335) - you deserved it (5082)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (51297) - you deserved it (10632)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML

#4206061 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (43372) - you deserved it (2921)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Electronotfriend (woman) - Poland (Pomorskie)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501 (310)

I agree, your life sucks (48410) - you deserved it (6549)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087 (417)

I agree, your life sucks (56823) - you deserved it (11487)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

#4186568 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (10466) - you deserved it (48279)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ohhmydamn (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I placed a personal ad advertising myself as an overweight woman wanting sex. I sent pictures of me in lingerie to men who replied and was pleased that almost all were still interested. Then I sent face pics. As it turns out, being fat is not my problem. Apparently I'm ugly. FML

#4165999 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (35104) - you deserved it (19586)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by yeahthatsme (woman) - United States (Kentucky) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (38065) - you deserved it (2753)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

#4156133 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (9085) - you deserved it (35809)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:02am - intimacy - by BrokenVow (woman) - Canada (British Columbia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (44596) - you deserved it (2173)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

#4155760 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (8395) - you deserved it (25293)

On 07/30/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#4155124 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (17644) - you deserved it (40248)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew



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