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marydrunasky23's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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marydrunasky23's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 8:36am / Hungary (Budapest) / Health
Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After looking into it, one of the 1-star ratings claimed "mechanical problems". The description of the reason, "He drives a Ford." FML
by darkangel7410 / 06/22/2016 at 4:37am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Anonyme / 06/22/2016 at 1:15am / Switzerland (Geneve) / Love
by Booooolette / 06/22/2016 at 12:27am / France (Picardie) / Health
by Austin / 06/17/2016 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they 'thought I would be lonely'. I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML
by notsoaloneanymore / 06/17/2016 at 12:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, while I was lifeguarding a swim meet with over 100 patrons, a duck paid a visit to our pool. He sat down and a brown cloud surfaced in the water. He immediately flew off. My manager then made me put goggles on and scoop out the poop while everyone watched. FML
by 1sasafras1 / 06/17/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
by inveralaska / 06/16/2016 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom / Animals
by mild banana / 06/16/2016 at 12:55pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house with his family. A kitten walks over to me with an engagement ring tied to its collar and a note that says "Marry Me?" I got super excited, only to find out that it was for his brother's girlfriend of 10 months, not me. We've been together 4 years. FML
by Still No Ring / 06/15/2016 at 5:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, we ran out of our disposal gloves at work. After saying how grossed out I was about having to touch raw chicken with my bare hands, my female boss goes, "Just imagine you're touching yourself. That's what I do." Even more grossed out now. FML
by RayniDae / 06/15/2016 at 4:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 1:07pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, my bratty sister shoved me overboard during a boat ride. Not ten seconds after being pulled back on board, I got an earful of abuse from my parents. My sister is the family favorite and they refuse to believe that I didn't "provoke" her. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 11:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the doctor's, I dropped my pants and the attractive nurse assured me it was the biggest one she had ever seen. Unfortunately, she wasn't referring to my penis, she was, in fact referring to the huge haemorrhoid hanging out of my asshole. FML
by mind your own business / 06/13/2016 at 6:31pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health