Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

martin998877

Offline (the 10/20/2014 at 11:29pm) | Search for a member

martin998877

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 840
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

martin998877's page activity

Visits<b>Hime9908</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:51pm<b>llbaum</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:40am<b>Nate66</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:19pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:20am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:28am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:18pm<b>vettvixen</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:49am<b>Sonychka</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:21am<b>tartar18</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:08pm<b>xNotCreative</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:46pm<b>nick2356</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:42pm<b>mattbaker</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:05pm<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:09pm<b>lb0812</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:26pm<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:19pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:50pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:19pm<b>justtheotherguy</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:45pm

martin998877's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of martin998877's badges

martin998877's favorite FMLs

Today, I got roped into a volunteering thing at the last minute. I was waiting outside with all these kids who looked hungry. Feeling bad, I passed around crisps and cookies. Turns out we were at a convention to promote healthy eating in malnourished children. FML

#21274410
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28678) - you deserved it (4916)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39227) - you deserved it (5574)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22772) - you deserved it (40027)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41312) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35508) - you deserved it (6401)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36571) - you deserved it (35508)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50626) - you deserved it (9734)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42111) - you deserved it (6118)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend..." FML

#21229506
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39982) - you deserved it (8307)

On 08/04/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

#21223271
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33721) - you deserved it (8793)

On 07/28/2014 at 4:47pm - work - by dorrisdoes - New Zealand

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50758) - you deserved it (11781)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: