martin998877

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Offline (the 07/11/2015 at 10:15pm)

martin998877

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2176
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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martin998877's page activity

Visits<b>Skarlun</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:53am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 1:12pm<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Hime9908</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 8:20pm<b>llbaum</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:40am<b>Nate66</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:19pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:20am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:28am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:18pm<b>vettvixen</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:49am<b>Sonychka</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:21am<b>tartar18</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:08pm<b>xNotCreative</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:46pm<b>mattbaker</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:05pm<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:09pm<b>lb0812</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:26pm<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:19pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:19pm

martin998877's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of martin998877's badges

martin998877's favorite FMLs

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a hit-and-run. I used my phone to write down the license plate for the police. However, I didn't notice that my phone had autocorrected the number. FML

by fuckshit / 11/04/2014 at 9:01am / Geek

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2014 at 10:54am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Money

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

by peanutprobs / 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Health

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids

Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2014 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

by socreepedouticanteven / 10/26/2014 at 8:05pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got roped into a volunteering thing at the last minute. I was waiting outside with all these kids who looked hungry. Feeling bad, I passed around crisps and cookies. Turns out we were at a convention to promote healthy eating in malnourished children. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2014 at 6:17pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2014 at 10:08am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

by poorbastard / 08/30/2014 at 4:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

by LolKaleb / 08/26/2014 at 11:02pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health