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martin998877

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martin998877

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 769
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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martin998877's page activity

Visits<b>llbaum</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:40am<b>Nate66</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:19pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:20am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:28am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:18pm<b>vettvixen</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:49am<b>Sonychka</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 2:21am<b>tartar18</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 11:08pm<b>xNotCreative</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:46pm<b>nick2356</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:42pm<b>mattbaker</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:05pm<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:09pm<b>lb0812</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:26pm<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 7:19pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:50pm<b>abattior</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:19pm<b>justtheotherguy</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:45pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:34pm

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martin998877's favorite FMLs

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22589) - you deserved it (39504)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41077) - you deserved it (3209)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35359) - you deserved it (6384)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35096) - you deserved it (33748)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50395) - you deserved it (9706)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42004) - you deserved it (6109)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend..." FML

#21229506
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39884) - you deserved it (8290)

On 08/04/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

#21223271
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33705) - you deserved it (8788)

On 07/28/2014 at 4:47pm - work - by dorrisdoes - New Zealand

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50040) - you deserved it (11744)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41619) - you deserved it (13585)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43486) - you deserved it (15012)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)



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