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martin8337

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martin8337

95Fucked!

martin8337martin8337
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4075
  • Number of comments : 1264
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About martin8337 : 52
Message me if you like.
Give a fuck, get a fuck.

martin8337's page activity

Visits<b>LadyLuck93</b> - one hour ago<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - 2 hours ago<b>mcues84</b> - 3 hours ago<b>koganti</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:27am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 4:46am<b>Sk1ttl3</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 2:28pm<b>IsThisTakenToo</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 10:18pm<b>mduckie101</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 8:11pm<b>turkishwife</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 12:29pm<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 10:02am<b>snoopy325</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:26am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:01am<b>ebsblackwood</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:58pm<b>MrSinclair</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 2:00am<b>InterestingMuch</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 8:47am<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:44am<b>ravenstag</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 5:13pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:23pm

Fucked!<b>LadyLuck93</b> - just now<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:46am<b>koganti</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:18pm<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>Umbraelux</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:12pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:00am<b>cupcakegirl0424</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 4:02pm<b>TheMeanwhile</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:24pm<b>nightfall8705</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:58am<b>Kikiers21042</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:22am<b>2nd</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:34pm<b>moontrimmer</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:27am<b>AndyClara</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:42am<b>YBae</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:36am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 7:58am<b>MissBoo111</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:59pm

martin8337's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of martin8337's badges

martin8337's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29225) - you deserved it (3561)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35241) - you deserved it (5179)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (4153)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36209) - you deserved it (2923)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38634) - you deserved it (3391)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53467) - you deserved it (10761)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41622) - you deserved it (7360)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49686) - you deserved it (8729)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42897) - you deserved it (3887)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35873) - you deserved it (10085)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43538) - you deserved it (4544)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49725) - you deserved it (22306)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42403) - you deserved it (8303)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49377) - you deserved it (12637)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML



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