Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

martin8337

Online | Search for a member

martin8337

5Liked!

martin8337martin8337
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2342
  • Number of comments : 1074
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About martin8337 : 52. Night worker, day sleeper. Feel free to send me a message, might not read or reply until after midnight.

martin8337's page activity

Visits<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - 3 hours ago<b>captain_crook</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Mii99</b> - 16 hours ago<b>abe7654</b> - yesterday at 5:07pm<b>yerawizardlizzy</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:04am<b>okibi1</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 9:32am<b>Allornone</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 8:32am<b>jay_color_gray</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 2:44am<b>JpTheGreat23</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:08pm<b>yvonnep</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 12:11am<b>mimii00</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:22am<b>2ophiia</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:52pm<b>PyroSam</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:41am<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:17pm<b>hardesty</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Eternity49</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:20pm<b>GirlGamer12345</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:19pm<b>TypoFairy</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:15am

Liked!<b>PyroSam</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:42pm<b>candymonster191</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 1:46am<b>pptm</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:32am<b>isabella1501</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:35pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:04pm

martin8337's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of martin8337's badges

martin8337's favorite FMLs

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32602) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (3733)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33909) - you deserved it (2567)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36774) - you deserved it (3203)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50718) - you deserved it (9746)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38541) - you deserved it (6630)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46677) - you deserved it (8164)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41374) - you deserved it (3762)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35701) - you deserved it (10041)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41253) - you deserved it (4323)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (459) - you deserved it (18966)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40459) - you deserved it (7961)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47032) - you deserved it (11887)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43368) - you deserved it (9397)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: