About martin8337 : 53
Message me if you like.
Give a fuck, get a fuck.
About martin8337 : 53
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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
martin8337's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes / 07/25/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by Alex / 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/17/2014 at 8:26am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML
by unashamed / 06/05/2014 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML
by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by KEA_08 / 03/20/2014 at 1:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I… Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She… Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I…