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marmar9407

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marmar9407

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 347
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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marmar9407's page activity

Visits<b>Derpenis</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 5:24am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 1:04pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 2:46am<b>oliviaarrrr</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 4:28pm<b>Merfy</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 10:54pm<b>neeena94</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 6:25pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 2:46pm<b>GayMatt</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 4:33am<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 5:34am<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 1:57pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 6:51pm<b>Lil_pink</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:12pm<b>_DoubleJ_</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 9:00am<b>JulesVern16</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 4:08am<b>whoracle</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 3:03am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 3:12am<b>Zombiekilla3229</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 12:16am<b>iDuckedShePowed</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 4:09pm

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marmar9407's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50660) - you deserved it (23540)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67074) - you deserved it (5626)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20086) - you deserved it (45777)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67124) - you deserved it (9904)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44374) - you deserved it (10906)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53185) - you deserved it (6543)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6975) - you deserved it (46532)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26853) - you deserved it (6928)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

#20077908
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (3368)

On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12077) - you deserved it (25713)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

#19707961
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (4245)

On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (6009)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (4420)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

#19270798
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2145)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States



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