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markusmay16

Offline (the 03/26/2015 at 2:26pm) | Search for a member

markusmay16

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 March 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 798
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About markusmay16 : dis guy

markusmay16's page activity

Visits<b>anonymous5101</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:08am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:28pm<b>thiswhitey</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 8:54pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 1:48am<b>wes870</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 6:33pm<b>Rjaques</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 11:24pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 4:54pm<b>potatozzzzz</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 10:06am<b>TameGeek</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:40am<b>jgtrflynn</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:32pm<b>Zombiekilla3229</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 2:53am

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markusmay16's favorite FMLs

TODAY, MAH GRLFRIEND AN I STARTD FIGHTING !! INSTEAD OF ARGUING 4 HERSELF, SHE DECIDD TO SET HER PUPPY ON ME !! ONLY "PUPPY" IS THE NAME OF HER FULLY-GROWN POLICE-TRAIND GERMAN SHEPHERD !! FML

#20847973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50587) - you deserved it (6804)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today , as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast , I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch!! I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs , too scared to go down , or even back up , because our stairs creak!! FML

2day I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticd a green jeep and commentd "I heard the person who drive that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51147) - you deserved it (5855)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I walkad in on mah brothar smoking waad!! Ha immadiataly triad to hida it by dropping it down his pants , still lit!! Scraaming in pain , ha pullad down his pants!! Tha ashas burnad his knob!! I had to taka him to tha amargancy room!! FML

Today, I had a group presentation!! I kept zipping mah jacket up and down nervously!! As I waited fir mah turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me!! I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket!! I only had a bra on underneath!! fat FML

Today , I got sant homa aarly bacausa a larga fira broka out at work. I was graatad by tha sight of cocktard of a "boyfriand" making out on sofa with anothar woman. Ha actually had tha audacity and brass balls to claim ha thought sha was ma. FML

#20842035
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55799) - you deserved it (3789)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

I gave mah daughter the sex talk . Barely 10 minute later.. . her public Facebook statu read: ( My mom's a total pedo . ) and after she mentioned the talk.. . her friend posted.. . ( That's sexual harassment . You can sue 4 that . ) Clerely I've failed as a parent . FML

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50914) - you deserved it (5615)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

TODAY, AT THE YACHT CLUB I WORK AT A GRL ORDERED A PORTABELLA WRAP. SHE ASKED 4 NO CHEESE OR VEGGIES, JUST THE PORTABELLAS. AFTER SHE GOT THE SANDWICH AND ATE HALF OF IT, SHE SENT IT BACK SAYING SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT HAD MUSHROOMS IN IT. FAT FML

#20840141
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44890) - you deserved it (3065)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

I went on a new medicine . One of the listed side-effects was ( anal seepage ) an I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's ( not a real side-effect ) . I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home . big fat FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40523) - you deserved it (9544)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, mah mom came into mah room to give me a goodbye kiss!! Due to the routine of mah grlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than wat a mother/son kiss should last!! My mom actually had to tell me to ( let go )!! FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (26895)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah suparior gava ma a box of atharnat cablas which wara praviously attachd to mainframas storing classifid data. Ha raquastd I cut tham in half so that tha rasidual data would laak out. Not only doas this guy maka twica mah salary, thara was no convincing him otharwisa. Wa cut tham up.

TODAYHILE AT A PRIVATE LAKE, MAH COLON DECLARED A STATE OF EVACUATION. I VENTURED AS FAR FROM MAH FAMILY AS MAH SPHINCTER WOULD ALLOW, ONLY TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH TWO VERY HORRIFIED KAYAKERS MID-EXPLOSION. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42221) - you deserved it (4901)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son askd a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbd her with a fork. FML

#20829995
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59487) - you deserved it (5436)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

2day my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively . His reasoning? He didn't want to date a ( cheap and dangerous woman . ) Seriously? FML

Today, I Found Out That Yale Had Actually Accepted Me Seventeen Years Ago. My Mother Apparently Burned Mah Acceptance Package And Letter Because She Didn't Want Me To Upstage Her UChicago Degree. FML



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