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marko1596

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marko1596
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 July 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4504
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About marko1596 : fuck

marko1596's page activity

Visits<b>ItsJuan</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:41pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 12:45am<b>dejhana</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 2:03pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 12:36pm<b>__justayy</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 10:55pm<b>jnunez0517</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 6:36pm<b>paris_ava</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:00pm<b>scarlet22ashley</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 2:31pm<b>Steephx0</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 10:32pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 12:07am<b>TeenieRee_2032</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 12:59am<b>nadiabjensen</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 2:37am<b>tzemmy</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 5:58am<b>CubyRocket</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 1:59am<b>oretraeinahpets</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 1:04am<b>Rainyknights22</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:35pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:06pm<b>Mons</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 10:12am

Fucked!<b>Mons</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 4:13pm<b>jerbear91</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:31am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 8:28am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:02pm<b>somehappydude</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 9:57am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 11:13am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:42am<b>brittanyisbritt</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 12:31am<b>freshfriesfrench</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 6:36am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:16am

marko1596's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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marko1596's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

by downgirl / 11/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 10:29am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML

by -_- / 10/07/2015 at 7:29am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2015 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

by Queen LaQueefah / 09/13/2015 at 7:52am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML

by Ugh / 09/13/2015 at 2:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

by auraya1985 / 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and filmed it, because it would "be a big hit on YouTube." FML

by Angie / 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2015 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

by dammit / 09/12/2015 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 8:07am / United States / Kids

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

by Thanks guys / 11/26/2013 at 12:21am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

by Cian_1 / 11/25/2013 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.