Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

marko1596

Search for a member

marko1596

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1151
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About marko1596 : I'm in love with a girl right now

marko1596's page activity

Visits<b>katydid91</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:29am<b>SuperGrover10</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:51am<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 12:15am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:46am<b>feldco1</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 3:11am<b>Blakeup</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 5:24am<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 9:33am<b>redblueflame</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 11:36pm

marko1596's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of marko1596's badges

marko1596's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55880) - you deserved it (4422)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52969) - you deserved it (3304)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

#20847705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (23239)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Loser (man) - United States

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

#20847276
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37623) - you deserved it (6711)

On 08/21/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Beegee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

#20843210
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39290) - you deserved it (3884)

On 08/18/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by 12345678910 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

#20826991
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52465) - you deserved it (9176)

On 08/08/2013 at 8:54am - love - by names suck and so do I (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56470) - you deserved it (15911)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48866) - you deserved it (4330)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47533) - you deserved it (8747)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

#20826525
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45540) - you deserved it (5049)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:09am - kids - by NextAmericanIdol? - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49411) - you deserved it (40418)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

#20825918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45464) - you deserved it (3625)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by hardee fucking har yourself, sir (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

#20825918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45464) - you deserved it (3625)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by hardee fucking har yourself, sir (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: