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marko1596

Offline (the 11/19/2014 at 6:42pm) | Search for a member

marko1596

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marko1596
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1281
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About marko1596 : I'm in love with a girl right now

marko1596's page activity

Visits<b>Larissa24</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 2:51am<b>katydid91</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:29am<b>SuperGrover10</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:51am<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 12:15am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:46am<b>feldco1</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 3:11am<b>Blakeup</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 5:24am<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 9:33am<b>redblueflame</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 11:36pm

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marko1596's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

#20891755
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (3724)

On 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm - misc - by mish (woman) - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

#20891546
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43087) - you deserved it (5483)

On 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm - work - by -_- (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

#20891477
166 comments

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47776) - you deserved it (8944)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55001) - you deserved it (27630)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my boss took me to one side and said, "Cross me like that ever again, and you're fired." I have no clue what he was talking about, and he denies ever having said a word to me. FML

#20882475
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36768) - you deserved it (2450)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:47pm - work - by what... (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43358) - you deserved it (3997)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39162) - you deserved it (6695)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50764) - you deserved it (5914)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43656) - you deserved it (4810)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

#20878614
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56014) - you deserved it (3455)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39154) - you deserved it (2834)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (67865)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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