marko1596

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Offline (the 05/15/2016 at 5:49pm)

marko1596

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marko1596
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 July 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4430
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About marko1596 : fuck

marko1596's page activity

Visits<b>ItsJuan</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:41pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 12:45am<b>dejhana</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 2:03pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 12:36pm<b>__justayy</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 10:55pm<b>jnunez0517</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 6:36pm<b>paris_ava</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:00pm<b>scarlet22ashley</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 2:31pm<b>Steephx0</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 10:32pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 12:07am<b>TeenieRee_2032</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 12:59am<b>nadiabjensen</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 2:37am<b>tzemmy</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 5:58am<b>CubyRocket</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 1:59am<b>oretraeinahpets</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 1:04am<b>Rainyknights22</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:35pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:06pm<b>Mons</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 10:12am

Fucked!<b>Mons</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 4:13pm<b>jerbear91</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:31am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 8:28am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 2:02pm<b>somehappydude</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 9:57am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 11:13am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 7:42am<b>brittanyisbritt</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 12:31am<b>freshfriesfrench</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 6:36am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:16am

marko1596's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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marko1596's favorite FMLs

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

by Dipping Tired / 04/20/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

by 0h_Boy / 04/20/2016 at 4:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, after 2 weeks of hard work in the heat planting a garden, just as I thought the most stressful part was over, my wife's mother comes over and brings a huge dog. She then threw a tennis ball for the dog into my freshly seeded garden multiple times, completely destroying most of it. FML

by Completely Fed Up / 04/20/2016 at 2:55pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years, I was backing out of his driveway when he came running out yelling "STOP!" I thought he wanted to make up so I kept going, until I'd run over his dog. FML

by itsnotyouitsme / 04/20/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2016 at 6:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I asked a short girl to prom by making a "You must be this tall to say no" sign. She grabbed a chair, stood on it, and then said no. FML

by anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML

by Notpunny / 04/18/2016 at 6:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me and asked why I haven't been showing up to work. I didn't show up because he fired me last week over the phone. Then he fired me again for not showing up to work. FML

by faeliality / 04/18/2016 at 4:39am / United States / Work

Today, while walking down the street I thought it would be funny to moon a crowd of old people taking a photo, in a few seconds a couple of them started pointing in my direction... Turns out they were pointing at the car that ran me over shortly after. FML

by MasterMcrib / 04/17/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML

by K.S.S. / 04/16/2016 at 10:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 3:16am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had to accept that I have feelings for a very cute and funny guy. It wouldn't be so bad if he weren't my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wallet got stolen. I had a bunch of cash, my SS card and my license in it. Now I have to replace everything, only to have to renew my license again when I turn 21 in June. FML

by pissedandpoor / 04/15/2016 at 1:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 4:25am / Health