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marionnettiste's FML badges
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marionnettiste's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML
by Upside-Down Sleeper. / 05/02/2015 at 5:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML
by HereToLaughAtU / 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML
by shadysheikh / 10/29/2014 at 12:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by MegasaurusRex89 / 10/17/2014 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML
by I_AM_READING / 10/14/2014 at 3:15am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation
by clumsylobster / 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML
Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by epic174 / 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm / United States / Holidays
by eh / 10/06/2014 at 3:12pm / Azerbaijan (Baki) / Miscellaneous
by super maman / 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML
by crop circle galore / 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm / United States / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…
- Today, I was travelling in a car. As I was discreetly picking my nose, we drove over a speed bump.… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual…