mario2012

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Offline (the 01/27/2014 at 4:22am)

mario2012

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 December 1981 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6782
  • Number of comments : 413
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mario2012's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Spiral061</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 6:31pm<b>adriannaee</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:57pm<b>sjb_2015</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 9:10pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:59pm<b>HoboRain</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 9:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:06am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:52pm<b>StolenKnight</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:24am<b>Bono363</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:33am<b>anxiousaly</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:46pm<b>Lunallia</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:37am<b>Giggidypope</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 4:30am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:01pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 8:25am<b>ilikeoreos222</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:24pm<b>ethan043</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:22am<b>epic174</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:32am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 5:12am

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mario2012's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

by Heinz / 08/08/2012 at 12:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

by ohai95 / 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to help the homeless by giving them old clothes and food. In return, they decided to mug me. FML

by HazzaBoo / 08/07/2012 at 7:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

by Employee / 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

by Nightmares / 08/07/2012 at 9:19am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

by TheCerealKiller / 08/07/2012 at 5:19am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

by Embarrassed / 08/07/2012 at 3:48am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 2:16am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

by Marcowalker95 / 08/07/2012 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML

by anonymous / 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm / Australia / Health

Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML

by maybenot / 08/06/2012 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the store with my grandpa. When we were rung up, he started to pay for our myriad groceries in coins, and the guy behind us groaned. My grandpa said, "shut your mouth," and started ranting about how stupid people are to leave paper trails for "government spooks." FML

by for fucks sake gramps / 08/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States (Hawaii) / Money