About mariepastyglue : FML is so freaken addicting, and I love it!!!!
mariepastyglue's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
mariepastyglue's favorite FMLs
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
by HughGorgy / 03/20/2009 at 1:37am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
by Syferix / 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML
by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love
by Noname / 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
by dirtyfoot / 01/18/2009 at 4:50pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by noname / 01/14/2009 at 1:33am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Love
Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML
by Sugar / 11/22/2008 at 6:51am / United Kingdom / Geek
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…