mariepastyglue

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Offline (the 01/27/2016 at 9:45am)

mariepastyglue

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1985 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4003
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mariepastyglue : FML is so freaken addicting, and I love it!!!!

mariepastyglue's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 12:40am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 12:59pm<b>Govcheeze</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 8:13pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Jaadde</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 6:14am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:28pm<b>igg125</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:52am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:06pm<b>johny93</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 7:30pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 2:00pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 7:29am<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:49pm<b>Mons</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 12:21pm<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:25am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 1:05am<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:56am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 10:57pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:39am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:28pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 7:52am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:06am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:05am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:39am<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:06pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 7:40pm<b>apgreen69</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:51am

mariepastyglue's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of mariepastyglue's badges

mariepastyglue's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my best friend's mom doesn't wear pyjamas when I got up to go get a glass of water in the middle of the night, at the same time she did. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 1:45am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mother if we were eating supper soon so I could take a nap. She said "no" so I went into my room and fell asleep. When I woke up, everybody was gone. My entire family of 6 went to Olive Garden while I was sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2010 at 7:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2010 at 1:00am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

by loser. / 03/20/2010 at 2:23am / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Holidays

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

by ICantBelieveThis / 03/06/2010 at 9:31am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML

by lovingsnow / 02/27/2010 at 2:37am / Singapore / Animals

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

by ugamayne / 02/17/2010 at 7:50am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2010 at 2:26pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

by TacoFail / 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

by boyfriendisatoss / 12/26/2009 at 2:22am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my 15 year old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

by Sadface / 12/06/2009 at 12:34pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

by notsohappyniece / 11/02/2009 at 11:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into a T-Mobile store to get a new phone. I wanted all of my numbers on my new phone, but the customer service rep had to transfer them. He said jokingly, "I understand. You don't want to lose your girlfriend's number." My girlfriend and I broke up two days ago. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 3:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Love