mariepastyglue

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Offline (the 01/27/2016 at 9:45am)

mariepastyglue

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4621
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mariepastyglue : FML is so freaken addicting, and I love it!!!!

mariepastyglue's page activity

Visits<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 12:56pm<b>thelyfexo</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 4:01pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 12:49pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 11:08am<b>IsathatSo</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 4:32pm<b>jumbalia94</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 12:40am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 12:59pm<b>Govcheeze</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 8:13pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Jaadde</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 6:14am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:28pm<b>igg125</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:52am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:06pm<b>johny93</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 7:30pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 2:00pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 7:29am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:39am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:28pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 7:52am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:06am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:05am<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:06pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 7:40pm<b>apgreen69</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:51am

mariepastyglue's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of mariepastyglue's badges

mariepastyglue's favorite FMLs

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

by patriarchal apparently / 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm / Saint Lucia / Intimacy

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

by Guntherdog / 06/27/2013 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

by LyraAlluse / 06/26/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML

by nomomsonfacebook / 06/23/2013 at 8:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

by assholedad / 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

by anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

by RoyallyGrossedOut / 06/19/2013 at 3:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

by MsAnonymous17 / 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

by onefishtwofishes / 05/23/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids