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Offline (the 11/19/2015 at 1:24pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3598
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mariepastyglue : FML is so freaken addicting, and I love it!!!!

mariepastyglue's page activity

Visits<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - yesterday at 9:25am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 9:28pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 1:05am<b>Mons</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 12:56pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 9:56am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 10:57pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 12:03pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 8:14pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 10:02am<b>Ebola</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 12:00am<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 10:55pm<b>Valcannos</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:45pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:06am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:05am<b>p_diddy77</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:48pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 11:07am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:32am<b>Destiel_</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:37pm

Fucked!<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:05am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:39am<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:06pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 7:40pm<b>apgreen69</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:51am

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mariepastyglue's favorite FMLs

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46952) - you deserved it (34435) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48460) - you deserved it (5382)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60475) - you deserved it (9611)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44160) - you deserved it (3175)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55551) - you deserved it (3887)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Guntherdog - United States

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML


I agree, your life sucks (51035) - you deserved it (4844)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44187) - you deserved it (4883)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40174) - you deserved it (2930)

On 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm - work - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML


I agree, your life sucks (41433) - you deserved it (5563)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60936) - you deserved it (4392)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML


I agree, your life sucks (56816) - you deserved it (3946)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37782) - you deserved it (4233)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by onefishtwofishes (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68629) - you deserved it (6335)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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