mariepastyglue

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Offline (the 01/27/2016 at 9:45am)

mariepastyglue

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1985 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4171
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mariepastyglue : FML is so freaken addicting, and I love it!!!!

mariepastyglue's page activity

Visits<b>TheDarkLight</b> - yesterday at 11:08am<b>IsathatSo</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 4:32pm<b>darkniss</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 11:25pm<b>jumbalia94</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 12:40am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 12:59pm<b>Govcheeze</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 8:13pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Jaadde</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 6:14am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:28pm<b>igg125</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:52am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:06pm<b>johny93</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 7:30pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 2:00pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 7:29am<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:49pm<b>Mons</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 12:21pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:39am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:28pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 7:52am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:06am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:05am<b>Fredrico011</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:06pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 7:40pm<b>apgreen69</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:51am

mariepastyglue's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

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mariepastyglue's favorite FMLs

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

by Love stinks / 08/19/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love

Today, I was flirting with a cute bartender on my last day in Spain. It was going well until we somehow got onto the topic of how I was recently dumped by my boyfriend of 3 years via Facebook. He spent the next 5 minutes laughing and telling his coworkers how hilarious that was. FML

by selfesteemloss / 08/10/2013 at 7:41pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 10:54am / France / Love

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML

by Sexless4Life / 08/05/2013 at 2:33pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

by countryblumpkin / 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

by Opheliae / 07/29/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

by 1942ford / 07/22/2013 at 10:18pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

by Gross / 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

by gavinbanks / 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw I chose fair, she mumbled "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

by Ghostly / 07/21/2013 at 11:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work