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mariepastyglue

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mariepastyglue

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 October 1985 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1361
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mariepastyglue : FML is so freaken addicting, and I love it!!!!

mariepastyglue's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:26pm<b>123914</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:39pm<b>baseballbv</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:52pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:04am<b>dafuck_15</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 3:51pm<b>FMLMaximus</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 12:41am<b>ayungballer</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:04am<b>nyancait</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:29pm<b>djoudjou7598</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:45am<b>gary3768</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:45am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:42am<b>vegemute</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:07am<b>ChiefRager</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 4:48am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:19am<b>xTrevor099</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 4:14pm<b>DjaySkar</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:23am<b>FlowerMama</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:17pm

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mariepastyglue's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50089) - you deserved it (4437)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47883) - you deserved it (23026)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML

#20822176
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (6183)

On 08/05/2013 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by Sexless4Life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60252) - you deserved it (5930)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

#20815318
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59071) - you deserved it (6529)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by countryblumpkin (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

#20798415
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40994) - you deserved it (3385)

On 07/22/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by 1942ford (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

#20797729
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52003) - you deserved it (4027)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48976) - you deserved it (3479)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw I chose fair, she mumbled "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

#20795568
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46176) - you deserved it (3789)

On 07/21/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Ghostly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48335) - you deserved it (23824)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44203) - you deserved it (32345) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45362) - you deserved it (5084)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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