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marieeheart's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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marieeheart's favorite FMLs
by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health
by raidered / 03/08/2010 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML
by AngelAshley / 02/22/2010 at 10:35am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Health
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
by Ben / 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by daragnan / 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/29/2009 at 11:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
by shaggy / 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML
by dumblond / 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Maine) / Work
Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML
by A2 / 06/28/2009 at 2:12am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML
by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2009 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous