This member hasn't filled in their description.
marieeheart's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
marieeheart's favorite FMLs
Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML
by anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
by maebyf / 08/31/2010 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by yggiz / 08/29/2010 at 1:02am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML
by lizardface / 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm / United States (California) / Health
by Single / 08/19/2010 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Love
by Jordid / 08/19/2010 at 12:12am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home. As a volunteer, I'm not supposed to accept any money or gifts from any of the residents. However, one elderly woman kept insisting I take her gold watch. After politely refusing for the fifth time, she decided to chuck it at my face. FML
by ouch / 08/15/2010 at 12:39am / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML
by Anonymous / 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/04/2010 at 1:18am / Miscellaneous
by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy
Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML
by sarah / 07/14/2010 at 12:32am / United States / Health
by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…