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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
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Up and coming moderator
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Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (3175)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (4359)
On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41867) - you deserved it (7379)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12 year old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27162) - you deserved it (3824)
On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (2321)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (2415)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13024) - you deserved it (6823)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37206) - you deserved it (11014)
On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (6940)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29855) - you deserved it (17307)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15854) - you deserved it (7997)
On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26189) - you deserved it (5755)
On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37177) - you deserved it (2842) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20824) - you deserved it (5506) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/22/2011 at 3:49am - misc - by sandra22 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (82992) - you deserved it (9947)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
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