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50 favourites
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Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19012) - you deserved it (5161)
On 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm - kids - by trisha (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27044) - you deserved it (3320)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36861) - you deserved it (5660)
On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43318) - you deserved it (7596)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30905) - you deserved it (5001)
On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31313) - you deserved it (2428)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62952) - you deserved it (5692)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62952) - you deserved it (5692)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32426) - you deserved it (16291)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40292) - you deserved it (14074)
On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40292) - you deserved it (14074)
On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40292) - you deserved it (14074)
On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (7129)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31592) - you deserved it (18210)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (8186)
On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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