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maricruz486

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maricruz486

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 June 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 237
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About maricruz486 : Hi, I should probably fill this out... Well my name is Mari (pronounced with a Spanish accent) I'm a life guard and swim instructor, and a culinary student that is also currently working in the industry.The type of music I listen to is alternative rock, japanese rock, punk, k pop, and what ever isn't slow and relaxing. Because it will put me to sleep. I love watching anime, How I meet your mother and anything that is funny and has cruel humor. Have any questions shoot me a msg.

maricruz486's page activity

Visits<b>gis0392</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:59am<b>mason9910</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:24am<b>Killswitchknot</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:53am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 5:14pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 11:59pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 9:48pm<b>xlonewolf7</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:01pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 6:54pm<b>MaryyJadee</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:30am<b>Heatmizer</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:21am<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:42pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 8:24am<b>Morning</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:36am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:13am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:49am<b>ToxicLover29</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:15am

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:52pm<b>MaryyJadee</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:09pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:57am<b>Morning</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:06pm<b>zjay</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 4:50pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 10:25am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 6:47am<b>GAMERZxxHD</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:24am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 9:26am

maricruz486's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of maricruz486's badges

maricruz486's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML

#21438523
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (1660)

On 07/08/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by welpwelpwelp - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

#21438229
71 comments

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24426) - you deserved it (4490)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (3700)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (12303)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (2000)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

#21420192
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25819) - you deserved it (5478)

On 06/03/2015 at 11:46am - health - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (4635)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29446) - you deserved it (4566)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, I found out the only reason my parents haven't kicked me out yet is because of my OCD which makes me clean the house every single day. FML

#21397145
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30826) - you deserved it (3142)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:42pm - misc - by Zach - United States (Delaware)

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (3119)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

#21396780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28016) - you deserved it (1864)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

#21392817
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (2850)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)



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