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maricruz486

Offline (the 02/09/2016 at 8:37pm) | Search for a member

maricruz486

16Fucked!

maricruz486maricruz486
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 June 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 425
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About maricruz486 : Hi, I should probably fill this out... Well my name is Mari (pronounced with a Spanish accent) I'm a life guard and swim instructor, and a culinary student that is also currently working in the industry.The type of music I listen to is alternative rock, japanese rock, punk, k pop, and what ever isn't slow and relaxing. Because it will put me to sleep. I love watching anime, How I meet your mother and anything that is funny and has cruel humor. Have any questions shoot me a msg.

maricruz486's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 6 hours ago<b>kyletg09</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 4:47pm<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:11pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:19am<b>fastman19</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 7:05am<b>ScenePanda45</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 8:51pm<b>Quendolin</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 4:37am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:02am<b>Teyros</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 12:39am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:46am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 6:17pm<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:10am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 12:44pm<b>Soldierman</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 7:07pm<b>Chinhull</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 6:19pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:10pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:20pm<b>zjay</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:43pm

Fucked!<b>fastman19</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 10:25pm<b>Soldierman</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:07am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:41pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 2:02am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 6:52pm<b>MaryyJadee</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:09pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:57am<b>Morning</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:06pm<b>zjay</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 11:19pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 4:50pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 10:25am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 6:47am<b>GAMERZxxHD</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:24am

maricruz486's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of maricruz486's badges

maricruz486's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

#21517322
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (3167)

On 01/20/2016 at 9:27am - kids - by lambeaster (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML

#21516917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (2704)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:37am - misc - by hrmpf (woman) - Germany (Bremen)

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

#21489520
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21107) - you deserved it (2528)

On 11/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Hipnog (man) - Czech Republic

Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML

#21438523
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (1810)

On 07/08/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by welpwelpwelp - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

#21438229
70 comments

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (4906)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (4100)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33610) - you deserved it (14042)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29745) - you deserved it (2143)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

#21420192
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (5621)

On 06/03/2015 at 11:46am - health - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32766) - you deserved it (4829)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30776) - you deserved it (4806)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, I found out the only reason my parents haven't kicked me out yet is because of my OCD which makes me clean the house every single day. FML

#21397145
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32441) - you deserved it (3467)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:42pm - misc - by Zach - United States (Delaware)



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