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maricruz486

Offline (the 10/10/2014 at 5:21pm) | Search for a member

maricruz486

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 58
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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maricruz486's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:37pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:18pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 5:29pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:49pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:09am<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:46pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:04am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:27pm<b>jad0016</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:36pm<b>SuperCaroline131</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:23am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:15am<b>Lars93</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:00am<b>LifeAlertTwerk</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:52am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:37pm<b>thexguyxnextdoor</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:59am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:08pm

maricruz486's FML badges

Consolation prize

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Socialite

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maricruz486's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45225) - you deserved it (3475)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (5548)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35626) - you deserved it (3641)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML

Today, it's been 10 days since my family and I have been visiting France. I've always wanted to try their culinary specialties but my dad says we "can't trust them". We've eaten at McDonald's 9/10 times. FML

#21235566
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42969) - you deserved it (3377)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:23am - health - by theshire - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, my nineteen year old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

#21169808
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46197) - you deserved it (14822)

On 06/10/2014 at 4:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML



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