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Offline (the 04/15/2015 at 8:16pm) | Search for a member
About maricruz486 : Hi, I should probably fill this out... Well my name is Mari (pronounced with a Spanish accent) I'm a life guard and swim instructor, and a culinary student that is also currently working in the industry.The type of music I listen to is alternative rock, japanese rock, punk, k pop, and what ever isn't slow and relaxing. Because it will put me to sleep. I love watching anime, How I meet your mother and anything that is funny and has cruel humor. Have any questions shoot me a msg.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, it's been 10 days since my family and I have been visiting France. I've always wanted to try their culinary specialties but my dad says we "can't trust them". We've eaten at McDonald's 9/10 times. FML
Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML
Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML
Friday 17 April 2015