Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maricruz486

Offline (the 11/25/2014 at 9:57am) | Search for a member

maricruz486

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 82
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

maricruz486's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:52pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:18pm<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 5:29pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:49pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:09am<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:46pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:04am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:27pm<b>jad0016</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:36pm<b>SuperCaroline131</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:10pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:23am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:15am<b>LifeAlertTwerk</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:52am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:37pm<b>thexguyxnextdoor</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:59am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:11am

maricruz486's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of maricruz486's badges

maricruz486's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a chinese restaurant, only to get nervous and hang up. FML

#21300935
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25728) - you deserved it (6604)

On 11/17/2014 at 8:04pm - misc - by phonebaby - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33351) - you deserved it (6448)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47351) - you deserved it (3523)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30398) - you deserved it (5560)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35736) - you deserved it (3650)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML

Today, it's been 10 days since my family and I have been visiting France. I've always wanted to try their culinary specialties but my dad says we "can't trust them". We've eaten at McDonald's 9/10 times. FML

#21235566
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43990) - you deserved it (3695)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:23am - health - by theshire - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, my nineteen year old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

#21169808
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46234) - you deserved it (14835)

On 06/10/2014 at 4:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: