Search for a member

Offline (6 hours ago)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 893
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 20 posted

About mariah_1_11 : I like long romantic walks on the beach, except when you step on a shell and it cuts your foot so bad that you have to go to the hospital to get stitches. Then because you can't walk and are dependent on your significant other, they leave you for the mail carrier with the gimpy leg and unibrow. You dive into a deep hole of depression, gain 500 pounds, lose all self respect and die one of those New York deaths where you're stabbed (assuming the knife is long enough to pierce through that thick layer of fat), left to bleed on the sidewalk; only to be an annoyance to those who are forced to circumnavigate your decaying corpse in their path...
Scratch that I hate long walks on the beach.
Shout out to my favorite FML poster(s):

mariah_1_11's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 10:01pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 12:37pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 8:14pm<b>filipkm</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 5:06pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 8:12am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 11:52pm<b>Hunter_the_Ninja</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 11:57pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 4:57am<b>porto5887</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 11:31pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Pstraka6</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 2:32am<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:47am<b>Paris25</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 7:09pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 6:03pm<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 6:06am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:55pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:55am

Fucked!<b>rogwest</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 6:37pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 5:50pm<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:04am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:01am<b>Koolaidandtacos</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:13pm<b>beckamoosee</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:49am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:20am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:35am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:13pm<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:47pm<b>lenalee96</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 5:33am

mariah_1_11's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of mariah_1_11's badges

mariah_1_11's favorite FMLs

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

by FrozenAnonymus / 07/14/2016 at 2:05pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Animals

Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML

by CasperTheFriendlyGhost / 07/14/2016 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, through a mutual friend, I met the girl of my dreams. After flirting and exchanging numbers with her, my friend confessed that she's liked me since the day we met. Now the girl of my dreams doesn't want to pursue a relationship with me out of respect for our friend. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 4:20pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML

by FreeTacos_ / 10/28/2015 at 1:23am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a dick for the first time in my life, on the early morning crowded train headed for work. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2015 at 10:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

by alison / 07/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

by baberuth / 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate bitched me out over my "OCD" driving the water bill up. She takes hour-long showers, but apparently me flushing after peeing "wasteful" and a sign of a neurological disorder. FML

by she has dumbcuntitis / 06/03/2015 at 2:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

by HelpMe / 02/25/2014 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The) / Animals

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

by crappingrapping / 05/21/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Miscellaneous