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mariah_1_11

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mariah_1_11

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 January 1993 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 494
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 20 posted

About mariah_1_11 : I like long romantic walks on the beach, except when you step on a shell and it cuts your foot so bad that you have to go to the hospital to get stitches. Then because you can't walk and are dependent on your significant other, they leave you for the mail carrier with the gimpy leg and unibrow. You dive into a deep hole of depression, gain 500 pounds, lose all self respect and die one of those New York deaths where you're stabbed (assuming the knife is long enough to pierce through that thick layer of fat), left to bleed on the sidewalk; only to be an annoyance to those who are forced to circumnavigate your decaying corpse in their path...
Scratch that I hate long walks on the beach.
Shout out to my favorite FML poster(s):
Baustigt
DocBastard
DontClickOnMe

mariah_1_11's page activity

Visits<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 4:57am<b>porto5887</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 11:31pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Pstraka6</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 2:32am<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 12:47am<b>Paris25</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 7:09pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 6:03pm<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 6:06am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:55pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:55am<b>jakers8424</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:13pm<b>nancy_rm</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:52pm<b>hollenbackam</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:42am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:50am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:07pm<b>bubsenn</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:23pm<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:04am

Fucked!<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 5:50pm<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:04am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:01am<b>Koolaidandtacos</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 11:13pm<b>beckamoosee</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:49am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:20am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:35am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:13pm<b>xluciferx666</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:47pm<b>lenalee96</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 5:33am

mariah_1_11's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of mariah_1_11's badges

mariah_1_11's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my crush that I liked her a lot. She told me not to message her when I'm drunk. FML

#21485302
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (2546)

On 10/28/2015 at 1:23am - love - by FreeTacos_ - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29277) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a dick for the first time in my life, on the early morning crowded train headed for work. FML

#21465627
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28210) - you deserved it (2648)

On 09/07/2015 at 10:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

#21454970
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38199) - you deserved it (4185)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31459) - you deserved it (4596)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

#21429316
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32052) - you deserved it (2212)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21481) - you deserved it (13290)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (4100)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my roommate bitched me out over my "OCD" driving the water bill up. She takes hour-long showers, but apparently me flushing after peeing "wasteful" and a sign of a neurological disorder. FML

#21420064
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (1905)

On 06/03/2015 at 2:03am - misc - by she has dumbcuntitis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50391) - you deserved it (12967)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51987) - you deserved it (3712)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (42313)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8042) - you deserved it (49272)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37698) - you deserved it (5019)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML



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