Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maria95aa

Online | Search for a member

maria95aa

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 852
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

maria95aa's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:18am<b>Nicholas12</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:09pm<b>arcticmonkeys28</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:58am<b>Gemini907</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:49am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:49pm<b>ProudDaddy</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:07am<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 7:49pm<b>bobdlawr</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:18am<b>martin8337</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:35am<b>jake238</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:21am<b>killer0689</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:28am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:10am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:04pm<b>faixi</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 12:50pm<b>danm19</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 12:34pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:14am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:14am

Liked!<b>arcticmonkeys28</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:57am<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:18am<b>Toolishing</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:11am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:27pm<b>christina3466</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:59am

maria95aa's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of maria95aa's badges

maria95aa's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

#21280130
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28488) - you deserved it (7932)

On 10/17/2014 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by melissa1028 (woman) - United States

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (2991)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34283) - you deserved it (4506)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25369) - you deserved it (50574)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (7099)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (5054)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35139) - you deserved it (6561)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29749) - you deserved it (10251)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (3794)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35615) - you deserved it (9304)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (573) - you deserved it (4001)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (5559)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38105) - you deserved it (9776)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35937) - you deserved it (3366)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: