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maria95aa

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maria95aa

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 439
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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maria95aa's page activity

Visits<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 9:16am<b>olpally</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:41pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 6:47am<b>staaacey</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:09am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:53am<b>carecow</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 10:28pm<b>bradleysol</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:30pm<b>juan3611</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 10:26pm<b>Grimnirwher9</b> - the 07/24/2012 at 5:03am

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maria95aa's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46509) - you deserved it (398)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49121) - you deserved it (3598)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40524) - you deserved it (4093)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40027) - you deserved it (11873)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47724) - you deserved it (6317)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

#21203602
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36757) - you deserved it (16644)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:38am - kids - by whoops - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

#21203054
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (3747)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by madamefuxalittle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48503) - you deserved it (3838)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59264) - you deserved it (4306)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55915) - you deserved it (3599)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50961) - you deserved it (6698)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49386) - you deserved it (7915)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)



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