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maria95aa's FML badges
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You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
maria95aa's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to his house. I was planning on breaking up with him while at his house. Turns out, it was a proposal party. I'm now engaged because it would've been rude to say no in front of his family that had flown in. FML
by anonymous / 06/25/2016 at 11:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, after a lifetime of being single, my parents finally found me a nice, intelligent, pretty girl. I was really excited, until she backed out on me when she found out our star signs don't match. FML
by mrtoolate / 06/19/2016 at 4:58am / India (Maharashtra) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by myusofwe / 02/05/2016 at 8:33pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy
by doodlecrzyMeg / 02/04/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, after being told numerous times how sexist the East Coast is, I went ahead with my East Coast grad school architecture interview. The first thing out of the interviewer's mouth was, "Are you sure you don't want to do interior architecture?" FML
by LL / 02/04/2016 at 9:13am / United States (Washington) / Work
by letstradefamilies / 12/21/2015 at 4:50pm / United States (California) / Holidays
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. At the right moment, I got down on one knee. As I was reaching into my pocket to get the ring, she got so freaked out she kicked me in the face. I chipped a tooth and the ring flew off, and now I can't find it. FML
by sothatsano / 12/16/2015 at 3:56am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
by fmltom / 12/15/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, a close friend told me she had no plans for her birthday. I found out she was lying when I had to serve her and 9 other mutual friends dinner at the restaurant I work at. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I wasn't invited or that none of them even remembered that I worked there. FML
by not invited / 12/12/2015 at 8:13pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my step mom sat me down and told me that she doesn't think that my dad is my biological father because she hasn't gotten pregnant from him. I don't think she quite understands the concept of being a step mom. FML
by anonymous / 12/12/2015 at 3:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried buying alcohol for the first time. I have a baby face, so I had my ID ready. The store owner admitted that my ID looked real enough, but he wouldn't believe it wasn't just an elaborate fake. He very nearly called the cops on me. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2015 at 11:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a woman who I have spoken to approximately twice in my life, asked me out. I turned her down in the most harmless way I could. Three hours later, I found my car keyed and my windshield wipers gone. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2015 at 7:10pm / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to… Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot.… Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the…