maria05136

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Offline (the 02/04/2016 at 4:28am)

maria05136

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 338
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About maria05136 : 18• Argentinian• Peruvian• Chinese

maria05136's page activity

Visits<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 3:17am<b>PercyD1456</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 8:52am<b>yungblkrich</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 3:27am<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 1:12pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 8:46pm<b>abhig</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 6:09am<b>pred8885</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 8:32am<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:57pm<b>idkwyatt</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:17am<b>brentt2711</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 9:03am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 1:11pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 6:45am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:24pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 12:40pm<b>whos_ur_daddy1</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 11:42am<b>justinbush</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 6:07pm<b>SunshineBoy</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:37pm<b>darkman_142</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 2:12am

Fucked!<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 9:17am<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 7:12pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 1:11am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 7:11pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 4:24am<b>Michaelsupset</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:33pm<b>winter_under_ice</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 1:17am

maria05136's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of maria05136's badges

maria05136's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 3:30am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my controlling, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend from nearly four years ago is still obsessed with me. Apparently, he's told everyone back home that he and I are getting married as soon as I finish college. We haven't spoken in over two years. FML

by kitkat3308 / 09/27/2013 at 2:20am / United States / Love

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

by my back hurts / 09/04/2013 at 1:25am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

by why / 08/17/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 3:36am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm / Czech Republic / Transportation

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous