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maria05136

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maria05136

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 133
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About maria05136 : 17• Argentinian• Peruvian• Chinese

maria05136's page activity

Visits<b>Nooblah</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:17pm<b>Fawn_Delmee</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:38am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:59am<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:27pm<b>camjarvis44</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 12:23am<b>pluviophile</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:19pm<b>epicpancakezzz</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 12:55am<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 7:20am<b>A07</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 12:26am<b>nuux74</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 11:28pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 8:04pm<b>max9y</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 6:17pm<b>daleracer88</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:46pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 3:18pm<b>ShadowReaper101</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 1:37am<b>excrations</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 3:38pm<b>imyy</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 1:22pm<b>jdietz89</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 11:57am

maria05136's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of maria05136's badges

maria05136's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43218) - you deserved it (7278)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32557) - you deserved it (3932)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I found out that my controlling, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend from nearly four years ago is still obsessed with me. Apparently, he's told everyone back home that he and I are getting married as soon as I finish college. We haven't spoken in over two years. FML

#20897674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42512) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/27/2013 at 2:20am - love - by kitkat3308 - United States

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (6670)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56072) - you deserved it (5979)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54708) - you deserved it (4572)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57230) - you deserved it (6667)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51556) - you deserved it (11147)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67239) - you deserved it (5801)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

#20810418
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43832) - you deserved it (3198)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44226) - you deserved it (2619)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by perdix??? (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58499) - you deserved it (3810)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (10310)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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