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maraka_musso's FML badges
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maraka_musso's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML
by lackadaisy_leah / 05/15/2013 at 12:12pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 2:43am / United States / Love
Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML
by Brenden / 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
by for the love of god / 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
by sumhub94 / 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm / United States / Work
by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML
by culodegrillo / 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm / Spain / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Miscellaneous
by Confused / 05/13/2013 at 10:39am / United States (Maine) / Work
Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML
by mothers / 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm / United States / Love
by turdtonomor9 / 05/12/2013 at 10:08am / United States / Love
- Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed.… Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means… Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely…