maraka_musso

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Offline (the 09/24/2014 at 8:29am)

maraka_musso

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 November 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3418
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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maraka_musso's page activity

Visits<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 8:06pm<b>mcbatmanrainbows</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:37am<b>sandhusaurous</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 4:28pm<b>enter______name</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:48am<b>TheGothGamerGirl</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:46pm<b>Saffeyeh</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:35pm<b>7Maverick</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:28pm<b>adam97</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 1:46am<b>swiftslayer</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 5:44am<b>Marley_000</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:57am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 12:36am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:45pm<b>aelathehuntress</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 2:01am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:04am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 11:23pm<b>Andoria</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:17am<b>armylife316</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 10:53am<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 10:50am

maraka_musso's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of maraka_musso's badges

maraka_musso's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

by MsAnonymous17 / 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

by anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:23am / Australia / Love

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm / United States / Love

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

by Cristoforo / 05/25/2013 at 4:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

by lizzie / 05/25/2013 at 2:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

by Laurel / 05/25/2013 at 12:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

by datgirl92 / 05/24/2013 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2013 at 9:45am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML

by backseatbusted / 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

by future walmart employee / 05/21/2013 at 12:10am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

by hotelbound / 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

by AuntPeePee / 05/20/2013 at 7:57am / United States / Kids