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maraka_musso's favorite FMLs
Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 06/05/2013 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML
by Justme / 06/05/2013 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML
by I keep failing it all / 06/02/2013 at 3:45pm / Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis) / Kids
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML
by speechless / 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Wirral) / Money
by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Miscellaneous
by wtf mom / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by anonymoose / 05/29/2013 at 8:39pm / Australia (South Australia) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Alaska) / Love
Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML
by $$$ / 05/29/2013 at 12:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML
by really? / 05/28/2013 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Animals
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation