mara183

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Offline (the 11/07/2015 at 9:43pm)

mara183

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 June 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 358
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mara183's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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mara183's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

by philosophicallll / 09/28/2015 at 4:25pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

by dammit / 09/12/2015 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

by BrittUnicorn / 07/06/2015 at 11:14am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML

by coolster5000 / 05/02/2015 at 12:36pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2015 at 9:20am / United States (California) / Work

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

by confused / 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

by wtf?? / 02/09/2015 at 8:26am / Saint Vincent and the Grenadines / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML

by ShadowReiku / 12/01/2014 at 11:41pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.