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mara183

Offline (the 11/07/2015 at 9:43pm) | Search for a member

mara183

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 June 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 322
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mara183's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of mara183's badges

mara183's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

#21467535
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (4495)

On 09/12/2015 at 4:11am - health - by dammit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28554) - you deserved it (3447)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (2447)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

#21431164
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37084) - you deserved it (2303)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

#21430924
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33926) - you deserved it (2016)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40302) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28536) - you deserved it (2860)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (7135)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34074) - you deserved it (24820)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

#21352624
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36159) - you deserved it (3458)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34555) - you deserved it (4721)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40986) - you deserved it (4204)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML



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