Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

manzakilla

Search for a member

manzakilla

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 235
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

manzakilla's page activity

Visits<b>Hobbit79</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 9:08pm

manzakilla's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of manzakilla's badges

manzakilla's favorite FMLs

Today, I Had To Set Parental Control On IPad So Dad Couldn't Watch Drty Video On Youtube. FML

#20696604
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55364) - you deserved it (4516)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

while working as a lifeguard , a kid took a dump in the pool . When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it , another kid promptly stared at me , stood at the shallow end righthere I was standing , pulled down his trunks , and peed on my feet . FML

#20696326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46134) - you deserved it (3056)

On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States

Today, ma grlfriend tougt it would be funny to go to te Apple store an log me on to Facebook on every single computer . FML

#20695876
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46005) - you deserved it (8641)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)

Today... I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose an mouth with his hand an complaining... ( Noooo... u need to die now. ) FML

#20695159
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64221) - you deserved it (5158)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee looool in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

#20693953
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33235) - you deserved it (5316)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:51pm - work - by CheesyCasey - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to make a poster 4 social studies. I decided to write ( Nice ass ) in hieroglyphics. Turns out mah teacher can read hieroglyphics. mega FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23067) - you deserved it (47764)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today , I accidentally hit a cyclist with car. In panic , I jumped out of car and ran up to him , who was lying on the floor , motionless. As I was about to check his pulse , he jumped up and shouted , ( I bet you thought I was dead , asshole! ) He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50887) - you deserved it (23608)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her cuz for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (6339)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" an then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56176) - you deserved it (4374)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I e-maild the on-line instructor for mah job, telling her that I had fallen behind in mah work due to mah grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope yur grandmother gets better soon." FML

#20679441
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43628) - you deserved it (2878)

On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)

Today due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't 4 my hemorrhoids making looool each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39717) - you deserved it (3593)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my allergie startd up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fracturd my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

today whila walking homa with my boyfriand ha jokingly slappad my butt. A man as old as my dad drova by yallad "Wooo spank that ass! DAMN!" an kapt laaring at ma bafora finally driving off. FML

#20668938
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41069) - you deserved it (5108)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid 4 the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45094) - you deserved it (3517)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98876) - you deserved it (5986)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: