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manzakilla

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manzakilla

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 197
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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manzakilla's page activity

Visits<b>Hobbit79</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 9:08pm

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manzakilla's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45893) - you deserved it (8989)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45152) - you deserved it (2988)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51251) - you deserved it (4232)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52733) - you deserved it (7762)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44197) - you deserved it (4213)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63028) - you deserved it (3644)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66830) - you deserved it (9230)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55118) - you deserved it (64233)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

#20708788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56091) - you deserved it (6007)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84925) - you deserved it (8099)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76759) - you deserved it (3651)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60859) - you deserved it (7628)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55632) - you deserved it (5029)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43052) - you deserved it (6988)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (33409)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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