Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mansfield_j

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

mansfield_j

77Fucked!

mansfield_j
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 March 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3384
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mansfield_j : Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward.
Whoever cannot take care of themselves without that law is both.
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant,
'If I live, I will kill you. If I die, You are forgiven.'
Such is the rule of honour.

mansfield_j's page activity

Visits<b>insanecutie</b> - yesterday at 12:44am<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - yesterday at 7:40pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:25am<b>VGQ</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:00pm<b>corky1992</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 7:09am<b>EB90</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Si123</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 6:21pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Bryce8</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 5:29am<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:31am<b>deathgrips</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:42pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:42pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:57pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:02pm<b>EvilLittleGirl</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:58am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 4:30am<b>Mossyoak_kw</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:28pm<b>bhopejohnston</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 4:01am

Fucked!<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - yesterday at 1:41am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:26pm<b>Mossyoak_kw</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 1:29am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 7:09am<b>jessi_sunshine</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:13pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 3:20am<b>kendalbear</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:43am<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:51am<b>sam882</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:15pm<b>ashleyrose465</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:10am<b>krisseyDJ</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:41am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 7:47pm<b>larrena2377</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:33am<b>queen2016</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 5:54pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 10:42pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:56am<b>funneh1</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 5:14am<b>funsizedliz</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:52pm

mansfield_j's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of mansfield_j's badges

mansfield_j's favorite FMLs

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29367) - you deserved it (18732)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35916) - you deserved it (11611)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML

#17951348
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38796) - you deserved it (2405)

On 10/10/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27580) - you deserved it (3464)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40938) - you deserved it (2575)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

#17597730
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (2612)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

#17450169
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33204) - you deserved it (4728)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
447 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41430) - you deserved it (5985)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML

#17217334
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34949) - you deserved it (5105)

On 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Roode (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41103) - you deserved it (6012)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

#16990171
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33115) - you deserved it (3206)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

#16882996
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46812) - you deserved it (3039)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Drunken Sailor - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48948) - you deserved it (9206)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

#15970719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25020) - you deserved it (17129)

On 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

#14922394
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135158) - you deserved it (6000)

On 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: