Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 March 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3785
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mansfield_j : Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward.
Whoever cannot take care of themselves without that law is both.
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant,
'If I live, I will kill you. If I die, You are forgiven.'
Such is the rule of honour.

mansfield_j's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:09pm<b>ellabellaboom</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:29am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:02am<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:08pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 8:09pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:30am<b>sa5v</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 9:15pm<b>bbackensto</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 12:01am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 11:17am<b>roryriddle</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 3:07pm<b>plan_Z</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 4:56pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 8:19pm<b>RMfml33</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:02pm<b>makeupgirl</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:21pm<b>Saso</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 11:17pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 9:38am<b>madalyn316</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 2:02am

Fucked!<b>ellabellaboom</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:29am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 2:09am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 5:17pm<b>madalyn316</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 8:02am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 10:37pm<b>derangedplanet</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 6:41am<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:41am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:26pm<b>Mossyoak_kw</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 1:29am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 7:09am<b>jessi_sunshine</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:13pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 3:20am<b>kendalbear</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:43am<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:51am<b>sam882</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:15pm<b>ashleyrose465</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:10am<b>krisseyDJ</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:41am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 7:47pm

mansfield_j's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of mansfield_j's badges

mansfield_j's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (4218)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27368) - you deserved it (2713)

On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40226) - you deserved it (3332)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50812) - you deserved it (4977)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28490) - you deserved it (8200)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9420) - you deserved it (27225)

On 02/29/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Ismellbacon - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11885) - you deserved it (58528)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML


I agree, your life sucks (17608) - you deserved it (32064)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10780) - you deserved it (124518)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37043) - you deserved it (3863)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40975) - you deserved it (2479)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33993) - you deserved it (6208)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (3715)

On 12/29/2011 at 2:01pm - health - by digressions (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36404) - you deserved it (16890)

On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25582) - you deserved it (5693)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: