Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mansfield_j

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

mansfield_j

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1483
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mansfield_j : I don't really know what to put here

mansfield_j's page activity

Visits<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - 8 hours ago<b>aha_awkward_</b> - 16 hours ago<b>CoGhostRider</b> - yesterday at 5:16am<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - yesterday at 12:09am<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - yesterday at 11:45pm<b>isabellasimone</b> - yesterday at 1:22pm<b>Lisee92</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:47am<b>lovelyvampire</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:58am<b>laaryssa</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:06am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:14pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:42pm<b>PainApple</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:57pm<b>cheese7272</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 3:51am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 9:27pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 4:02pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:28pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:54pm<b>thecoon99</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 7:38pm

Liked!<b>juststephhere</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:14am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:09am<b>KeannaLove</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 5:17pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:13am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:21am<b>Mac_Alvy</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:35am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:21pm<b>kee_breezy32</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:05am

mansfield_j's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of mansfield_j's badges

mansfield_j's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38091) - you deserved it (2280)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31110) - you deserved it (5845)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML

#18644424
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (3366)

On 12/29/2011 at 2:01pm - health - by digressions (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

#18542625
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32873) - you deserved it (15824)

On 12/18/2011 at 5:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22510) - you deserved it (5295)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

#18242988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (4286)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29295) - you deserved it (5158)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26740) - you deserved it (17733)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33832) - you deserved it (11054)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML

#17951348
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35791) - you deserved it (2205)

On 10/10/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25167) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37788) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

#17597730
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (2591)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

#17450169
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30420) - you deserved it (4417)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Coldsnap - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41129) - you deserved it (5963)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: