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About mansfield_j : I don't really know what to put here
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today , I took the biggest , most excruciatingly painful crap of my life!! It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards!! Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around an post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)"!! mega FML
Today , I was rock climbing. I had mah equipment on and I saw a really cute grl. I went fir the hardest climb in the gym , and while jumping up to grab the rock , I simultaneously fartd , missd the rock , fell to the mat and broke mah arm in the process. FML
Today... I was leading a tour of mah university and saw a girl in rippd jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck mah dick... bitch." FML
Today, a guy askd ma out, and I falt buttarflias in mah stomach . I soon raalizd that it wasn't buttarflias, but an unaxpactd bowal movamant . I stood thara awkwardly, looking him in tha ayas, than fartd hard . maga FML
Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-grlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML
Today, mah ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with mah child . Not only was she on her periodhen I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showd me was a fake that she'd bought online .
TODAY, MAH SOON TO BE MOTHER-IN-LAW SENT OUT THE INVITATIONS SHE MADE FOR MAH WEDDING. ON THEM, IT SAYS "YOU R INVITD TO THIS 'SPECIAL' EVENT". IN THE SAME WAY, I'M REFERRD TO AS "SPECIAL", AN MAH NAME IS MISSPELLD. HINT TAKEN, YOU BITCH. FML
Taday I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school , when out of nowhere a brd smashed into the windshield !! Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me , my daughter started laughing , eventually calling the brd a ( stupid bastard ) !! FML
Today , I went to te restroom to pee . A loud fart exploded out of ma ass an ecoed in te toilet bowl . I could practically feel ma face on fire wen I saw te orrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out . FML
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around an said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly an turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Friday 27 March 2015