I love reading FML's. Real or fake, they always make my day :)
Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23542) - you totally deserved it (3638)
On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, is the day my husband was supposed to come home from a six month tour at sea. I heard the door bell ring. I sprinted to the door expecting to hold my honey bear, instead two uniformed sailors with a folded flag greeted me. I burst into tears. My husband walked up behind me. He laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (126932) - you totally deserved it (9592)
On 05/10/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (106879) - you totally deserved it (27378)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I decided to take a nap. My boyfriend gave me some sleeping pills but I decided last minute not to take them. I woke up to my boyfriend kissing my neck and unbuttoning my shirt. Without opening my eyes, I whispered "ooh this is so romantic." He blurted out shocked, "Oh...you're awake?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (149746) - you totally deserved it (9523)
On 04/01/2009 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182570) - you totally deserved it (20014)
On 04/01/2009 at 9:44am - love - by twstedillusion (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (109200) - you totally deserved it (5907)
On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (117619) - you totally deserved it (14039)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97249) - you totally deserved it (9121)
On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML
I agree, your life sucks (162223) - you totally deserved it (30204)
On 02/25/2009 at 12:17pm - love - by ihatemylife (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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