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mandos

Offline (the 09/02/2014 at 1:58am) | Search for a member

mandos

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 January 1976 (38 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 181
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Meggston</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:04pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:23am<b>Getty95</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:48pm

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mandos's favorite FMLs

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35039) - you deserved it (2444)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

#18921610
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12673) - you deserved it (34187)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:46pm - money - by ChevRooon - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

#18815137
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (4566)

On 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by Ange (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26116) - you deserved it (3290) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

#18714264
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37218) - you deserved it (2086)

On 01/05/2012 at 6:43am - money - by cazorp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (4317)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47476) - you deserved it (2171)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

#18503694
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (3534)

On 12/13/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12993) - you deserved it (41235)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37225) - you deserved it (5107)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31369) - you deserved it (3279)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43137) - you deserved it (2622)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (9032)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

#18314926
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (2903)

On 11/22/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by Charles Pennington (man) - United States



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