About mandafager : It's a lot of time to take between what's right and wrong.
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mandafager's favorite FMLs
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Asian / 02/07/2016 at 2:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer gave me hell because a high-spec game he bought wouldn't run on his ancient Windows XP PC. I ended up having to profusely apologize and refund him. Whoever coined the phrase "the customer is always right" should probably be shot, run over by a bus, then shot a few more times. FML
by fucking fuck off / 01/01/2016 at 9:28am / United States / Work
Today, I did slightly below average on my programming project. Aside from it being unnecessarily difficult, I also couldn't focus on it due to problems at home. After I confided in my colleague about it, I heard him mutter, "I knew women are crappy programmers". FML
by Rusty / 12/11/2015 at 7:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by EnderHorse / 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:41am / Australia / Work
Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2015 at 10:03am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML
by MerryDeathmas / 07/18/2015 at 12:31am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Transportation
Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 1:42am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML
by Bigbaby / 06/11/2015 at 6:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 3:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by zzarzzur / 05/22/2015 at 2:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML
by King.Dick. / 04/02/2015 at 10:21am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML
by peele / 03/25/2015 at 9:10am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was sitting on the bleachers at school in the shade alone. I saw two girls approaching me… Today, a customer flipped out because we are fundraising for the American Lung Association, and she… Today, the guy I've been with for 4 years chose hard drugs over me and our daughter. Happy birthday…