About mandadarling : Hi.
Rockabilly and tatted :)
I'm an EMT and 90% of my life involves FML, either reading the site or thinking it :)
About mandadarling : Hi.
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mandadarling's favorite FMLs
by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by butimarealbear / 07/13/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by ugh / 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML
by racist / 10/15/2010 at 2:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 8:01am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML
by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
by chewybarseventy / 08/24/2010 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML
by meg265 / 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…