mandadarling

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mandadarling

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1396
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About mandadarling : Hi.
Rockabilly and tatted :)

Marvel=Love

I'm an EMT and 90% of my life involves FML, either reading the site or thinking it :)

mandadarling's page activity

Visits<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 4:36pm<b>krakenbanana</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:49am<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:34pm<b>anonwilliam</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 3:40pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:06pm<b>edenxero</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 7:18am<b>Blee864</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 12:21am<b>anonymouslover48</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 7:50am<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 1:47pm<b>alisenpai</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:38am<b>ryerye942</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 2:51am<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:34am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 4:49am<b>Cape9093</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 1:35am<b>small_turtle</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:59pm<b>elvenlegs</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 7:56am<b>valerie_273</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:33am

Fucked!<b>small_turtle</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:00am<b>Blee864</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:37am

mandadarling's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

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mandadarling's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

by AnonymousUser / 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

by Magicgwen / 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother and I were shoveling mulch. He pushed me in and then ran away, laughing hysterically. I was stuck in the mulch, and no one would help. I was literally in deep shit. FML

by horselover7766 / 04/25/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

by Lee / 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

by anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 1:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:16am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

by anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

by bastard magnet / 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:53am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Intimacy