About mandadarling : Hi.
Rockabilly and tatted :)
I'm an EMT and 90% of my life involves FML, either reading the site or thinking it :)
About mandadarling : Hi.
mandadarling's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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mandadarling's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML
by AnonymousUser / 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML
by Magicgwen / 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm / Miscellaneous
by horselover7766 / 04/25/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Lee / 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm / United States / Animals
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 1:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:16am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy
by anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
by bastard magnet / 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:53am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…