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manateesarecool

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manateesarecool

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 601
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About manateesarecool : I like manatees.

manateesarecool's page activity

Visits<b>Jclan_91419</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:09pm<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Pancake847</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:12am<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:59am<b>tweetyzyaw</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 8:41am<b>WellThatWasRude</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:28am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:58am<b>arabian22</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:09am<b>kidtoy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 11:17pm<b>tanziir1</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:43pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:52pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:52pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:18pm<b>shine999</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:11pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:09pm<b>rachelllllb</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:21am<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 6:33pm

Fucked!<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:59pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 5:17am<b>tanziir1</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:43am

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manateesarecool's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27061) - you deserved it (4688)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (4202)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (3713)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (2302)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML

#21420235
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (5409)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:36pm - health - by YuckyDuckyLucky - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

#21417851
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29491) - you deserved it (2494)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were "I hope you have insurance". FML

#21410548
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29857) - you deserved it (1838)

On 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm - misc - by hendrixisgod86 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (22712)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (3036)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML

#21377689
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (2171)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:24am - health - by david99021 (man) - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35451) - you deserved it (2287)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43341) - you deserved it (19622)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor at my apartment building told me water from my sink was leaking into his apartment. He told me to call maintenance to fix it, but they won't help unless he calls. He refuses to, and I can't do my dishes without feeling like an asshole. FML

#21368266
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/04/2015 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18786) - you deserved it (55604)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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