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manateesarecool

Offline (the 01/02/2016 at 10:37pm) | Search for a member

manateesarecool

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 961
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About manateesarecool : I like manatees.

manateesarecool's page activity

Visits<b>Jclan_91419</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:09pm<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Pancake847</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:12am<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:59am<b>tweetyzyaw</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 8:41am<b>WellThatWasRude</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:28am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:58am<b>arabian22</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:09am<b>kidtoy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 11:17pm<b>tanziir1</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:43pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:52pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:52pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:18pm<b>shine999</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:11pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:09pm<b>rachelllllb</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:21am<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 6:33pm

Fucked!<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:59pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 5:17am<b>tanziir1</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:43am

manateesarecool's FML badges

Inception

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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manateesarecool's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML

#21481043
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25858) - you deserved it (2580)

On 10/17/2015 at 9:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
164 comments

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

#21455220
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33307) - you deserved it (2328)

On 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

#21454970
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38252) - you deserved it (4189)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML

#21453582
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23307) - you deserved it (2677)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by brbkillingmyself - United States

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (5791)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (4770)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31600) - you deserved it (4619)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32827) - you deserved it (2371)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML

#21420235
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28130) - you deserved it (5538)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:36pm - health - by YuckyDuckyLucky - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

#21417851
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31484) - you deserved it (2854)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were "I hope you have insurance". FML

#21410548
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31223) - you deserved it (2011)

On 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm - misc - by hendrixisgod86 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27888) - you deserved it (24944)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30689) - you deserved it (3446)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland



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