manateesarecool

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Offline (the 01/02/2016 at 10:37pm)

manateesarecool

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1400
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About manateesarecool : I like manatees.

manateesarecool's page activity

Visits<b>proporn</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 6:01pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 10:54am<b>Jclan_91419</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:09pm<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 6:43pm<b>Pancake847</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:12am<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:59am<b>tweetyzyaw</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 8:41am<b>WellThatWasRude</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:28am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:58am<b>arabian22</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:09am<b>kidtoy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 11:17pm<b>tanziir1</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:43pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:52pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:52pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:18pm<b>shine999</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:11pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:09pm

Fucked!<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:59pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 5:17am<b>tanziir1</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:43am

manateesarecool's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of manateesarecool's badges

manateesarecool's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 9:17am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

by YourAverageFckUp / 08/22/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm / United States / Love

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML

by brbkillingmyself / 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

by strangely / 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

by anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

by alison / 07/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML

by YuckyDuckyLucky / 06/03/2015 at 1:36pm / Norway (Oslo) / Health

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm / Australia / Kids

Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were "I hope you have insurance". FML

by hendrixisgod86 / 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm / United States / Money

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

by NoCnNoJustice / 04/17/2015 at 9:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

by njh / 03/27/2015 at 9:29am / Ireland / Kids