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manaallovesfmls's favorite FMLs
by AwwChute / 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML
by alex / 02/16/2010 at 11:43am / United States (Oklahoma) / Work
Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML
by donkeyd / 02/05/2010 at 11:29am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML
by Me / 01/31/2010 at 12:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I got a call from the girl I'd really like to date to meet up for drinks. Excited, I walked out my front door, slipped on a patch of ice, and dislocated my shoulder. She won't go out on a date with me now because I "ditched her". FML
by pogodrake / 01/24/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in the park and I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML
by Juanna / 01/13/2010 at 3:07am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML
by Lady / 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML
by weeble_wobbles09 / 01/08/2010 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by nobffs / 01/01/2010 at 1:10am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/29/2009 at 11:58pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by musicgod123 / 12/29/2009 at 11:56am / Miscellaneous
by Butter_Cup / 12/28/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (California) / Money
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'… Today, during an extremely romantic moment of cuddling with my girlfriend she started to cry, turns… Today, my driving instructor was over 30 minutes late and when I texted him to ask where he was he…