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manaallovesfmls's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML
by dgilbs / 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 6:43am / United States / Miscellaneous
by brooke / 08/13/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by chlorinesmells / 05/30/2012 at 9:51am / United States / Work
Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
by daddyowl / 05/25/2012 at 12:32am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love
by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
by ohgodwhy / 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 10:39am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
by awwman / 04/09/2012 at 10:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by mockable / 04/06/2012 at 7:09am / United States / Work
- Today my cat got operated for an eye problem, while he was drugged after the operation he tought it… Today, my mother lost some paper work. It was paper work she wanted to hold on to that was vital to… Today, I had a dream that I did well in my Business Studies exam. I slept so long that I overslept,…
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…