About mama2b3 : Hi.. I don't really like filling these out, but if you wanna know something just message me. :) I'm usually on my phone so I might not respond right away.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
mama2b3's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by WayTooMuchFacebook / 02/04/2012 at 12:07am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
by stifledbyyou / 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML
by gingerninja / 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2010 at 8:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 2:51pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Intimacy
by neuroticallyours / 11/12/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Virginia) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip… Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…